Comparison Trap: The Thief of Joy

Melissa Clymer, Traditional Naturopath
Aug 14, 2018
4 min read

Do you know what one of the biggest thief of our joy and happiness is? COMPARISON. It can rob you of your true potential in an instant.

I have been trying to write this blog for months! This is something that I have felt strongly about for so long, I just couldn't find the right words. On my birthday we were in church and it felt like the pastor was speaking directly to me. Some of what I am going to talk about is from Pastor Sten's sermon at MidCurrent Church.

All my life I have wanted things. It's only natural, right? I want a better car, a big boat, a newer and better house. Whatever it is that you want, it's normal and natural. We all want to have things that we perceive will make us happy, liked more, or be seen in a culture where material possession is a symbol of "making it".

Comparison

Comparison is a trap. It leads to pride and/or envy. Pride makes us think we are better than others. Envy makes us want what others have. Neither serves us. No one has the same desire, resources, wants or even needs. We are all different. Sometimes we get so caught up in titles or perception we can't see the forest for the trees. Stay strong on your own path. Do what makes you happy and where you are being led, not where others are leading you.

I think we all have been envious of a friend's purse, set of golf clubs, car, house or whatever. It's human nature to want things. Especially when they are "cool" or we cannot afford them. Something to think about... That person who has whatever we are envious about, think about what they had to do to get it. Think about the time, the money spent or the debt incurred to achieve that "success".

In being human, we compare ourselves to others. She has better hair, he has a bigger pay check, she is a doctor, he is an electrician. Comparison is a great way to breed unhappiness and snuff out your spark. We all have things we are good at. We all have things we are not so good at and need to work on. Why must we compare ourselves to others? We can only control one person in this world. That is us.

(photo source: pixabay)

What Does Comparison Cost You?

Cost doesn't necessarily equate to money. What about time? What about happiness? Do material possessions define us? Of course not! Or is it just something that could be thrown away in a year or 2 when it has lost it's luster and we've moved on to the next best thing? What about the husband and wife with the perfect marriage? Or family who seems to have it all? Not everything is as it seems.

Bitterness and resentment are emotional suicide. It poisons you and everyone around you. We need to learn how to let it go to be happy with all that we are and all that we can be.

Worry and anxiety kill hope, joy and peace. It is connected to many physical ailments that may lead to early death. Constant worry helps no one. We cannot add a single moment to our life by worrying. The things we cannot control need to be let go. Things are going to happen whether we worry about it or not. Take a deep breath and let it go. It is out of our hands.

(photo source: pixabay)

Guilt

Guilt is a huge burden for us all. It hurts our relationships with others, it can drive a wedge. Often times we carry guilt for things that no one knows about. We are the only ones suffering! It seems the guilt just grows and grows until the wedge is so big we don't know how to get over or release it. It's holds us back from all that we do. A mistake is just that, a mistake. We need to learn from those mistakes and move on.

Failure

Past failures are another way to kill our joy. They cling to us and hold us back. It will keep us from moving forward to be the person we are meant to be. "I can't" doesn't need to be in our vocabulary. I CAN does. I CAN do anything I put my mind to. Failure is a bruise, not a tattoo. Oftentimes, we are the only ones who know we even "failed" at anything.

(picture source: Facebook)

We all need hope. We all need to be able to be the person we are meant to be without bitterness, resentment, worry, anxiety, comparison, guilt, or past failures. Shake off the old thoughts and feelings. Step up into who you really are and who you truly want to be.

I hope this has helped you. There are ways to release these negative feelings and emotions. Flower Essences, Meditation, Reiki and Crystal Healing all have been helpful to me. Also stay off social media.

Also, I urge you to read the book, The Four Agreements.